I was at a coffee shop recently, practicing my Spanish before meeting up with some friends. I was served by a man who must have been in his mid to late 70s. My initial thoughts when I saw this man, before he approached my table, were about how sad I was for him, who still had to work at his age. 

He shuffled to my table slowly.  I could tell he was experiencing some discomfort. When he introduced himself to me, he had a gleam in his eyes. He had a warm and gentle energy about him. 

Then I saw him return to the cafe counter with his much younger colleagues, and I saw the magnetic energy he brought with him. He made them laugh and smile. You could tell they adored him.

When I finished my coffee, and he brought me the check, he offered me this. He wished me wealth and prosperity. He said he wished me wealth and prosperity in the form of strong relationships with friends and family, the peace of gratitude, and a sense of purpose. 

With that, he smiled and walked away.

Wow. I thought to myself, this is truly a wealthy man. My thoughts wandered.

• I could tell by his slow movements that he has had some physical challenges. But those physical challenges don't dim the gleam in his eyes or the positive energy he brings to the room.

• I could only imagine all the people who have met him during his lifetime, and how he must have lifted them and been a positive force in their lives.

• This man will die a happy man, knowing he has enjoyed true wealth and prosperity.

This holiday season, I wish you all wealth and prosperity. The type of wealth and prosperity that really matters, that makes a significant difference in people's lives, and the kind that will help you enjoy a fulfilling life.

I recently closed on the sale of a townhome that I owned, which holds many great memories.  I bought it shortly after my divorce, and at that time, I planned to live in it for a few years before renting it out and buying a larger home. But then the 2008 recession hit. The plan changed.

I ended up living there with my kids for nine years, while having them 50% of the time. They were 5 and 7 at the time that we started living there.

We shared many great experiences. We had some challenges. The struggle of keeping my real estate business afloat, trying my best to be a good father, and battling an alcohol addiction was one of the most challenging periods of my life. My kids and I have some emotional scars from that period, but we also had some amazing experiences that are part of the strong foundation of our current relationships.  

As I performed a final walk-through of the house before closing, a myriad of images flashed through my mind. Here are some of my thoughts:

I recall feelings of scarcity during the recession, when I couldn't afford or do certain things. What I didn't realize at the time is that "things" really didn't matter, and both the beautiful and complex challenges ahead would forge powerful bonds with my children and me.

• Simple living is a good thing.  My kids and I didn't need much space to develop the great relationships we have now.  Living "simply" forced us to get outdoors, which was a blessing.

• I had amazing neighbors and met some of the most wonderful people living in that neighborhood. I couldn't have been surrounded by nicer folks raising my children and working through that period of my life.
  

This experience has been a great reminder of what my clients go through in selling a nostalgic home. It's just not a property for sale in a transaction. It's saying goodbye to a place so special, formed by both challenges, joy, and growth.

It's also a great reminder of what some sellers are going through when I'm on the other side of the transaction. It's a great reminder that the seller may be having a difficult time letting go, and the importance of having compassion, patience, and understanding.  

These folks have their own myriad of images flashing through their minds, reminding them of so many emotional threads that compose the fabric of their current lives.

I recently took an Uber ride from a man with a Spanish accent. I started talking to him in Spanish, and the conversation went from pleasant to quite incredible.

He is 37, Venezuelan, and has been in the U.S. for less than two years. When he arrived, he did not know any English, had no family or friends here, and did not know where he would live. He has a wife and three young daughters.  

He told me the story of crossing the Darien Gap that took four days. He says it was a living hell, and he still has nightmares of the crossing through dense jungle, people around him drowning every day, and fighting for his life the whole time. He didn't know if he would make it.

He made it to Texas and only had enough money for one bus pass. The shortest distance to any major city with strong employment prospects was Denver. He landed in Denver, worked in construction, and eventually made enough money to bring his wife and three daughters to the U.S.  

He and his wife now split shifts driving their car for Uber and are overjoyed with their life in the U.S. He says his life is dedicated to providing a better future for his daughters.

My dad was a refugee from Cuba who landed in Key West on his third attempt to cross the Caribbean Sea in 1958. This man's story resonated with me deeply. 

Although exhausted from my long travel day, I couldn't sleep due to my extraordinary conversation with this remarkable man. His enthusiasm, beautiful spirit, and overflowing joy of being in the U.S. with his family filled me with an abundance of gratitude.

I am grateful for:

• The courage that my father had to make that incredible journey in 1958.

• The privilege to live in this wonderful country despite our challenges and divisions. Many people around the world risk their lives to live here.

• The brave men and women who have fought for our country's freedom and democracy throughout history. We need that courage now and in the future.

• An overwhelming sensation of gratitude to be able to raise my children in the land of opportunity.

Some dangerous immigrants enter our country who shouldn't be here.

But let's not lose sight of the fact that the vast majority of immigrants who arrive here are wonderful people who strive to provide a better future for their families, share in fighting for our freedom and democracy,  and are a vital part of making this country great.

I recently celebrated seven years of continual sobriety. On my sobriety anniversaries, I spend some time reflecting on the past year and my sobriety journey in general. One of the key reflections that has been resonating with me during this particular anniversary is the importance of "embracing the suck."

I've recently decided to downsize where I live and simplify some key aspects of my life. While the transitions are logically the wisest things to do, they take an emotional toll, primarily due to the temporary discomfort required to make the changes. I have to remember to "embrace the suck".

When I was drinking, I couldn't feel the full range of emotions I'm able to experience now. I would seek alcohol at almost any opportunity, but especially during tough transitional times. So, I could never fully experience the lows that are natural human ways of coping with such situations. It's supposed to be part of the human experience.  It's supposed to suck.

I've had one relationship during my sobriety (I know....the math isn't pretty!), and when it ended, it really sucked. Unlike previous relationships ending, I didn't have alcohol to fall back on. I had my coping communities, which were a savior, but I had plenty of time in which it sucked.

I had never felt the breadth or depth of sadness over a previous relationship ending, because I had always used alcohol to cope. It's hard to be "in the suck" when I was in the middle of a bender or recovering from one. I prevented myself from experiencing the spectrum of emotions people should feel during these times. I missed out on an essential part of the human condition.

One of the most important benefits of "embracing the suck" is that it has allowed me to be a more empathetic person. Before sobriety, I had the mentality that folks often should "suck it up" or "figure it out." I had never fully experienced the full range of emotions other people could feel, so I couldn't relate. I can relate more now. I've "embraced the suck."

Although I've focused this article on the low points of the emotional spectrum, I feel grateful for my sobriety, which allows me to spend most of my time on the other side of the spectrum. I now enjoy the vast array of emotions on the happy side of this equation. It's a beautiful place to spend most of my time. 

I think the happy times are even more enjoyable because I am spending a healthy dose of time "embracing the suck."

I practice yoga 3-5 times weekly, depending on my schedule. I usually attend the same yoga classes that fit well into my week. Occasionally, a change in my schedule will require me to attend a class with a different yoga instructor. 

It may not seem like such a big deal, but every instructor has their own energy and approach, invariably introducing new poses into the sequence. Sometimes, it's not just new poses but also the length of time in the pose or suggestions for altering the pose to achieve different results. 

The subtle changes are amazingly profound. 

When I started yoga seven years ago, it was a chore to remain in "Down Dog" or "Warrior Two" for a significant time. Now, those poses aren't as challenging on a routine basis. But when a new instructor queues holding these poses for an extra 30-60 seconds, it reminds me of how far I've come in my yoga practice. I remember struggling to hold those poses for shorter periods seven years ago.  

Little by little, consistent yoga practice has helped me "strengthen the muscles.”

Recently, I've had to have some direct and candid discussions with some business colleagues. One of my friends who knows the situation says they have difficulty having these types of conversations, but I seem to handle them easily. Not necessarily true. I have just had practice "strengthening the muscle" over time. Now, it has become easier to do as a common practice.

The same is true with my personal goal of improving my vulnerability. This hasn't happened overnight and is still a work in progress. But guess what? It, too, is an effort to continue to "strengthen that muscle." 

Significant results happen by continually focusing on this area of improvement and making small, incremental improvements over time.

My tip for making profound change: focus on minor, consistent progress.

Strengthen the muscle.

I just returned from trekking the Inca Trail with my children. This has been a lifelong dream of mine ever since I read a book about the Incas in high school. Ending the trek at Machu Pichu was spectacular.

However, this was overshadowed by the fantastic experience of spending eight days in Peru with the terrific Peruvian people, the wonderful other trekkers in our group, and the pure joy of spending so much quality time with my kids.

I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude.  

• I'm thankful to be able to spend so much time with my adult children and see the awe and wonder in their faces as we enjoyed a trip we will remember for the rest of our lives.

• I'm grateful for my yoga practice, which helps me keep my body, mind, and spirit vibrant and strong, allowing me to undertake challenging excursions.

• I'm grateful to my incredible teammates at the Fox Team for supporting my clients so well while I took some time off for this trip.

• I'm grateful to my clients and business partners for their flexibility and understanding as I took this trip during the busy season.
  

• And finally, I am grateful for my sobriety, which has made this all possible.

This trip wouldn't have happened without my sobriety and commitment to my alcohol recovery. I wouldn't have the amazing relationships I have with my children. 

My body, mind, and spirit wouldn't be nearly as strong. My relationships with the fantastic people on the Fox Team wouldn't be as powerful. My clients wouldn't trust me as much as they do.

I can't put into words how thankful I am for my sobriety and how it has changed my life.  

I have many friends who are still struggling with alcohol or have family members struggling with it.  
I want to continue to help people on their paths to recovery so that they, too, can experience this sense of gratitude. One day at a time, leads to a trip of a lifetime.

I recently heard the Chinese Parable "Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?"  

This is the story of an old Chinese farmer who lived many years ago.

He had one old horse that he used to plow his fields. One day, the horse ran away into the hills.

Everyone said, “We are so sorry for your bad luck.”

The old man replied, “Bad luck, good luck, who knows?”

A week later, the horse returned with a herd of wild horses, which now belonged to the old man.

Everyone said, “We are so happy for your good luck!” The old man replied, “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”

While his only son was riding one of the wild horses, he fell off and broke his leg. Everyone said, “What bad luck!”

The old man replied, “Bad luck, good luck, who knows?”

One day, the army came to the village and took all the strong young men to be soldiers for the emperor.

Only the old farmer’s son was spared because he could not fight with a broken leg. Everyone said, “What good luck!”

The old man replied, “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”

I've been thinking about some of the twists and turns in my life.  In many situations, challenging events led to breakthroughs and periods of success followed by disappointments. Who knows what was good or bad luck?

The parable is a very timely lesson. It is impossible to know the actual consequences of actions within and outside of our control. So much in our lives is out of our control. There will be some bad and good luck, depending on how it's perceived. There will be challenges. There will be opportunities.

One thing is for sure. I find serenity and peace when I accept life as it is.

One of my favorite movies of all time is the movie Parenthood.  One of my favorite scenes of all time is "Grandma's Roller Coaster Story."  

When I first watched it, I imagined what life would be like raising kids. I never thought it would be easy, and I was excited about the prospect of being a parent one day.

As I reflect on the roller coaster of the last 24 years as a parent, the ups and downs have become magnified and vivid. The twists and turns have been much different than I imagined. I didn't realize when I watched the movie for the first time how much the experience of being a parent would change me.

Some of the things I've learned on the roller coaster:

• The down cycles are temporary, just as the up cycles are.

• Children learn so much from their parents in what they observe.

• There are always unexpected blessings in the down turns if I'm patient to watch them unfold.

• Don't revel too long in the up cycles, as humility is around the corner.

• Vulnerability is the magic ingredient of genuinely connecting with children.

I cried when I watched this segment's clip before writing this piece. The ups and downs replayed in my mind, the pain and the successes. The days, weeks, months, and years of challenges were followed by similar periods of pride and joy.  

I thought I had an idea of what parenting would be like, but in reality, I had no idea of the wild rollercoaster ride in front of me. And not just parenting, but the whole ride.

What an amazing ride!  More twists and turns to come.  

I really do love the roller coaster.

My favorite season is spring as I enjoy the change of weather, the flowers and trees in bloom, and the enthusiasm that abounds with summer on the horizon. And Little League baseball season is about ready to start.

When I was a kid, there wasn't a whole lot to do growing up in Los Alamos, New Mexico. But when the Little League season started, Lou Caveglia field would come alive with the sound of balls hitting baseball mits, the sound of the crack of the bat, and the cheers here and there. Our lives revolved around practices, games, and watching our friends play their games.  What a blast!

I remember simple pleasures like getting a ticket for a hamburger and coke after the games and hanging out with my teammates as we watched the next game. I remember us learning how to talk to girls and all of us learning how to interact with each other at such a vibrant gathering place. There were a lot of laughs, confusion, joy, and wonder about what was next.

I miss coaching Little League, too, and observing the kids going through similar life experiences. Little League in Boulder was different, but still a fantastic learning experience for my kids and their friends. Some parents have become more intense, but the game and lessons learned are the same.  

When I pass by the Little League fields now and see kids practicing or playing games, I can't help but be pulled back to that time of innocence, wonder, and pure joy of playing the game of baseball. It makes my heart swell every time I pass by.

At some point, I may be a grandfather going to Little League games. It's highly doubtful my grandchildren will have a baseball career, and it doesn't matter. I hope they can enjoy a similar magical experience as I did as a kid. I hope they learn valuable lessons that will help them in their lives, as I was able to do.

From such a simple game, there are so many important lessons to be learned - so many joyful memories to form for the future.

Spring is upon us. Let’s play ball!

I am so blessed that yoga is a vital part of my life. Besides being so important for my body and mind, it feeds my soul, and I resonate spiritually with my yoga communities.  I seek yoga instructors who can fuel this part of my life.

One of my favorite instructors, Matt Kapinus of Yoga Pod, occasionally talks about the insightful lessons of Shinzen Young.  One of my favorite ones is: "Pain times resistance equals suffering."  Matt has such a genuine and soulful interpretation of this powerful message.

I've been thinking about how this equation manifests in my life, which is appropriate now in such a turbulent time, especially after having done so much work on the practice of "acceptance."

Before my alcohol recovery journey, I would ignore pain or numb it, and the relief was temporary and artificial.  It has taken many years of diligent work, emotional setbacks, and difficult transitions to learn how to handle pain better in my life. 

Here are my keys to solving the resistance component of the equation.

• Acceptance doesn't mean not "resisting" when necessary, appropriate and viable.  It means sitting in the pain for a while, carefully thinking about the root causes and actual existence, and relying on my tools to work through it.

• I am conscientious who is in my inner circle.  These folks have a lot of influence on how I handle resistance, oftentimes subconsciously.

• The pain is almost always more severe in my mind than in actuality.  When "I play the tape" of past painful events, I see this is true and have peace that this too will pass.

• There are always opportunities in pain events.  They don't appear quickly but manifest over time if I have an open mind, healthily work through the resistance, and have patience.

• Helping others struggling with their pain and resistance, in turn, helps me.  I don't know how this works, but it always does.

I, too, am struggling to grasp some of our current challenges and feeling pain and fear.  I choose to lean into it, use the lessons learned from my recovery journey, and help be part of the solution.

I enjoy this time of year when I am forced to pause, reflect, and "zoom out" on the past year.  Despite some challenges, there have been some unexpected blessings.

Some emotionally charged situations with my kids have made us lean on our "tools" and "lessons learned."  These situations have resulted in stronger relationships. I couldn't be more proud of what amazing adults they are becoming. I feel genuinely blessed about our evolving relationship.

I've had some health challenges, but persistence, patience, and exploring new modalities led to great results. Mindset is such a powerful tool that allows the body to heal itself.  

My goal of improving my Spanish has had some success, plateaus, and times of frustration. One of the blessings has been the fantastic relationships I'm developing with my Spanish professors. Wow, truly amazing people and transformational experiences. While my Spanish is improving, the friendships we have developed this year and my fondness for Colombian culture continue to grow. 

It's been a challenging year in real estate for some folks, while others have found some opportunities. It’s a gift to be trusted to help folks with significant life transitions involving real estate. Some of the situations have been very emotionally  challenging. It's a responsibility I don't take lightly, and I am truly grateful for my family, friends’, and colleagues' trust. 

There will be more challenges and more opportunities in the year ahead.  

I look forward to connecting with you to find the blessings in the challenges and appreciate the gratitude in the opportunities. 

As many of you know, my BNI (Business Networking International) chapter is one of my most important communities. We meet every week. Over the last 13 years since we formed the chapter, we have built a fantastic culture, which has been a foundation for my business and has resulted in some of my strongest friendships.

Part of the BNI process is giving an 8-minute presentation to the group every several months. After 13 years, it can be a struggle to decide what to talk about. A dear friend and business partner suggested that I adapt my presentations to tell personal stories. Wow, what a game-changer.

Since then, I have focused my 8-minute presentations on telling personal stories that relate to my business. I have found the connection and emotional responses to be incredibly fulfilling. I have seen the audience become much more engaged. The chapter has gotten to know me on a deeper level. The key to building strong friendships and dedicated business partners is allowing people to see who I am. 

Shortly thereafter, I decided to incorporate more storytelling into my work with clients, mentoring, and daily life. When I can convey my passion for a subject and share some visualizations, the connections are visceral and often manifest into unexpected and incredible discussions. It's been transformational for the depth of quality discussions I have with people. 

It often takes vulnerability to lead with such stories. Indeed, there is a time and place for these types of discussions. It's essential to read the situation to understand if it's appropriate. However, if it is appropriate, what a fantastic way to connect. 

As I enter the last stage of my career, one of my aspirations is to do my best to inspire. To effectively inspire, leading with "what if" is so much more potent than "how to."  

The other day, I was playing "The Game That Goes There" with a friend. One of the prompts was, "I'll remember this one conversation for the rest of my life..."

I thought about it for a while, and then it came to me. As a service delivery account manager at IBM, I simultaneously experienced some challenges with several accounts and struggled to communicate with several colleagues on the account teams.

One of the colleagues with whom I was having an especially tough time had a heart-to-heart meeting with me and said, "Tony, you would be better served to focus more time and energy on what you're good at versus trying so hard to work on the things you're not so good at." 

Although most of our previous conversations had been stressful with a fair amount of conflict, her demeanor was softer this time, and I could tell it was truly from the heart. She was trying to help me. I couldn't get the conversation out of my mind. 

Several months later, she died in a plane crash. I was sad and shocked. It made our conversation even more compelling. 

That conversation was one of the critical moments that led me to leave IBM and eventually start my real estate business. Although my time at IBM (and Lockheed Martin, which purchased the IBM Federal Systems Division) was a fantastic experience, I am so thankful that I moved to a career that resonates more closely with my strengths.

Some people come along in our lives and give us incredible insight, often when we least expect it and often from sources we least expect. Having an open mind and an open heart is the key to allowing these memorable conversations to make such an impact.  

Once in a lifetime, memorable conversations that make significant revelations in our lives can happen at any time if we allow them to.

One of my Spanish tutor friends recently shared this poem with me as we discussed the difficulty of changing old patterns.

Wow. Powerful. Sometimes, the most compelling messages are the simplest.

Seeing people we love or care about fall into the same habits of self-destruction can be agonizing. It can feel helpless, powerless, and confused about what to do.

I have people in my "personal community:”

• Struggling with alcohol or drugs and having difficulty surrendering

• Struggling with bad financial decisions that cause problems in the long run

• Struggling with toxic relationships

• Struggling with self-confidence and self-esteem

• Struggling with a healthy life balance

Then I look in the mirror. 

I have had the same struggles throughout my life. Finding another path for each hole in the sidewalk took different degrees of time and effort, some of which are ongoing.

I am better at taking different paths now, so I don't fall into the same holes as often. But when I do, I recover quicker and give myself some grace. This also allows me to show compassion and understanding to the people in my "personal community" still confronting the holes in their paths.

Some of them will eventually "walk down a different street." Some of them won't.  But I'll be here to support them either way.

When flying back from Medellin, Colombia a year ago, I decided to learn Spanish.  Now that I have more time in the "empty nest" phase of my life, I thought there was no excuse for me "not having time" to commit to this lifelong desire. 

No more excuses; it was time.

There have been a bunch of "ups and downs," periods of frustration, and "aha!" moments. I certainly didn't expect this to be easy, but the peaks and valleys have differed from what I had anticipated.

Here are my key takeaways:

• The ability to communicate well with people of a different culture is amazingly 
  transformational. It has opened my mind to new perspectives, joys, and connections in a beautiful way.

• I have dedicated considerable time to learning Spanish in the past year. However, I framed the commitment as a long-term investment, which is starting to pay dividends.  

• It's amazing the amount of self-doubt and negative thoughts that organically appear as part of the process. It's a reminder that it's a constant practice to work through these challenges. 

• Like many other things, this will be a continual learning process. When I have achieved a new level of success, humility is waiting for me around the corner.

• It is never too late to adopt and pursuea new passion with vigor. It just takes a change in habits, time management, and priorities.

I am so thankful that I made that decision on the flight home from Medellin. It has changed my life.  

I've often mentioned the mentors I've had along the way.  I feel truly grateful and blessed to have such brilliant, talented, and kind people in my network of "mentors" who help me grow.  One of my mentors recommended "The Millionaire Next Door" to me many years ago, and it's been one of the most valuable books ever.  

Occasionally, I undergo a "cost control" phase to focus on lowering my personal expenses. This shouldn't be a "phase," but I find my cost management "ebbs and flows" over time.  This is similar to businesses that occasionally have to look more closely at their bottom line and adjust their spending strategy and habits.

I've read "The Millionaire Next Door" several times and gained new insight every time. It's terrific, simple, timeless advice. 

Most millionaires are self-made, and it isn't obvious they are millionaires because they don't flaunt their wealth. They are more focused on financial independence rather than outward appearances, and many of them do not have high-income-generating jobs.

Your next-door neighbor could be a millionaire; you would never know by outward appearance.

Here are some of the main points:

• Millionaires prioritize financial freedom over social status and material possessions.

• Spend less than you earn, save, and invest the difference.

• Avoid unnecessary spending and allocate time and money efficiently.

This is one of the books I recommend most to the people I mentor.  The goal isn't necessarily to be a millionaire but to achieve financial independence.  

Adopting these principles is never too early or too late.  Earlier is better!

It's time for a personal "cost control" refresher.

The other day, I was asked the most important business advice I could give to build a successful business. Wow, I had so many thoughts running through my head, flashing through failures and successes. And then it came to me.

My most critical business decision has been surrounding myself with the right people. This is an ongoing process. These people have been crucial to my successes, helped me learn from my failures, and continue to help me grow.

These are the common elements of these folks:

They live in great harmony: they are family-oriented, healthy, successful in business, and make time for their passions. I have found harmony to be critical to my happiness.

They have a great passion for what they believe in and enjoy doing. Enthusiasm is contagious.

They have unwavering integrity and values. The character of the people in my inner circle is admirable and reminds me daily of the right way to show up, no matter the circumstances.

They have undeniable determination and will to persevere despite obstacles. I learn from observing how the people I admire pick themselves up after failures, adapt, and continually make opportunities out of failures.

They have different political views, social perspectives, economic status, ethnicity, and backgrounds. Surrounding myself with these folks has broadened my perspective and taught me to be more empathetic and understanding.

They have a great sense of humor, which has taught me not to take situations or myself too seriously. Let's have some fun here!

They are vulnerable. The strongest people I know are the most willing to be vulnerable and have authentic and meaningful conversations.

The most crucial advice I can give someone starting a business is to choose wisely the people in their inner circle. Mindset is a powerful force, and the people in your inner circle feed it.

I feel truly blessed to have learned and continue to learn so much from the special people in my life.

I've recently had several situations where I didn't pause before sending a message. A component of my recovery has been working on this skill, but sometimes, it still breaks down and has negative consequences.

If I don't pause, I don't have time to fully understand the context of the situation, and to fully think through and embrace the person's situation on the other side of the message. This results in emotion overriding reality, which causes further misunderstanding, disconnection, and, at times, bewilderment.

These situations are often caused by self-imposed deadlines, which add to the perceived need to respond "quickly," not necessarily with "quality." This is not a wise trade-off.

In ideal situations, I have learned that if I can "sleep on it," I usually wake up with a fresh and more balanced perspective. Waiting until the next morning to respond almost always results in a more clear and thoughtful response…one that is better received and offers more opportunity for connection and understanding.

A response that focuses on connection and understanding is so much more powerful and productive than one fueled by emotion. Isn't this our overall goal?

I have to remember that this journey is about progress, not perfection.

was recently enjoying a sunset and listening to a "classic rock" channel while unwinding from a busy day, and the song "Cat's in the Cradle" came on. I've heard that song many times, but it hit me particularly hard for some reason.

As I reflect on the past and my time as a father, the period when I was a single father with the kids 50% of the time was particularly challenging. I got divorced right at the beginning of the Great Recession, launched a new business in a completely different field, and struggled mightily with alcoholism. It was difficult. It was difficult for a long time.

My heart breaks when I think about the amount of time I spent emotionally unavailable for my children. I tried to be the best father I could by volunteering in their classrooms, coaching their little league teams, and getting outside as much as possible. While I did all those types of things, and they were important, I couldn't deeply connect and be emotionally available to them as they needed. And I can't get that time back.

I have to "sit in it" for a while, and it's tough. However, given all the work I've done on myself during my recovery, it passes quickly. I did the best I could, given where I was.

These moments serve as a powerful reminder that I have the experience, strength, and emotional availability to have a different future. It's up to me right now to be more present, emotionally available, and genuine with my children and the other loved ones in my life.

And I'm doing it. It's paying dividends. My children have forgiven me, and we have much better relationships now. Forgiveness is one of our principal family values.

All my relationships are better. It isn't perfect by any means, but I feel a sense of uncovering more and more layers, becoming the person I want to be.

I'm not going to change the channel or skip the song the next time "Cat's in the Cradle" comes on. I will briefly "sit in it," take a deep breath and move forward with gratitude and acceptance.

I had a medical procedure done in November that has given me quite a bit of sciatic pain relief. It has been a humbling, trying, and transformational year.

I'm grateful for my "communities" that helped me weather the storm. I'm grateful for my friends' support and for inspiring me to focus on my mindset. Despite my sciatica struggles, it has been an incredible year.

Mindset is everything.

And I'm very excited for the year ahead! Here are some of the things I'm looking forward to:

*Sharing laughs with old and new friends.

*Spending time with my family.

*Establishing new connections and new perspectives.

*Serving my clients to the best of my ability.

*Enjoying some new adventures.

*Giving back to my communities.

I feel very blessed and look forward to connecting with you soon!

We have entered an exciting time in history. The proliferation of Artificial Intelligence (AI) is becoming increasingly mainstream. It will be a challenge to determine what is real, and what is not. What is fake news, what is real and unbiased?

There will be opportunities, and there will be danger. I struggle to decide what to pay attention to and what to ignore. It will become more difficult in the future.

It can be overwhelming at times. When I feel my nervous system becoming deregulated because of all the "noise," I fall back on the quote I heard from Lou Holtz when I was young. It's simple: "What's Important Now (WIN)"?

What energy, resources, and time do I need to spend right now that are important to me to WIN the day? What will help me take care of the people I care about? What will feed my values, passion, and soul? What will make a real difference in accomplishing my goals?

The noise is all around us. When I feel the noise amped up, I can acutely feel it in my body. That's when I reach out to nature, exercise, yoga, and stillness. These tools have never failed me.

There are exciting times ahead filled with opportunities. They will align with my dreams by tuning out the noise.

I enjoy traveling to Central and South America. The vibrancy of the cultures moves me, the people's passion invigorates me, and working on learning Spanish is proving to be a transformational experience.

However, things sometimes work differently than I'm used to. Systems I rely on or take for granted often work quite differently in Latin America. Transportation is different. Schedules are different. The way people interact and communicate can be quite different.

Spending more time in Latin America is teaching me the power of "Going with the flow." It's another version of "acceptance," but different. I view acceptance as more about being at peace with how things are right now. The "going with the flow" mantra is more about understanding a different rhythm.

When I get frustrated with how systems are different or my language shortcomings, causing some stress, I try to focus on the imagery of a mountain stream cascading down the hillside. It's so calming to imagine myself integrating with the surroundings instead of trying to stand my ground or move upstream. The imagery helps me relax and moves me into a sense of being part of the overall flow.

Going with the flow doesn't mean not standing up for what I think is right and not adhering to my principles or boundaries. It's more of a state of mind of integration and harmony. I want to be part of the resonance. I want to be part of the beautiful vibration.

One of the best parts of traveling is learning from different cultures on how I can change my state of mind which can help me when I return home.

There is power, peace, and harmony in that mountain stream going with the flow.

One of the benefits of being an empty nester is finding joy in doing things that I didn't have as much time to do when raising children.

The flood of happy memories by doing these activities warms the soul.

I remember:

*The rush of riding my bike all over town before I could drive, and the freedom I felt.

*Tapping into nature and enjoying my surroundings' smells, sounds, and awe-inspiring beauty.

*Eating an ice cream cone at any given time of the day for no particular reason.

*Finding nourishment in my "physical exertion" community. It used to be baseball, football, and wrestling - now it's yoga!

*Hanging out with friends and razzing each other and laughing until tears form.

I especially like spending time with folks that help bring out that inner child. There are some friends that bring it out more than others. You know who they are!

While each of us has some childhood memories that aren't so pleasant, it's so calming to spend time seeking those opportunities to bring out the positive inner child memories.

They're powerful. They are deep-rooted. They shift the mindset.

I think I'll spend more time doing this…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rflwGUvWzWoItem description

Many of you know I've been struggling with an injury for about seven months. I've tried a variety of treatments with varying degrees of improvement. It's been quite a process.

While my emotions about the injury have been a roller coaster, it's becoming evident that my mindset has to be more consistently focused on what "I can do" and less on what "I can't do."

I can't walk or hike as far as I'm used to, but I can bike more and not trigger my injury.

Traveling can be uncomfortable, but once I get there, I can still do many things to enjoy the culture, the food, and the overall experience.

Sitting or standing for long periods is tough at meetings or social engagements, but I can still show up, be human and enjoy the experience as much as possible.

I can't practice yoga at full capacity, but I can still show up, modify a lot, and enjoy my wonderful yoga community as best I. can.

I can't control how quickly I heal, but I can have an open mind, try different things, and not be attached to the results. I have no control over the results.

The brain is a powerful organ. I wholeheartedly believe in the body's ability to heal itself. Changing my mindset to focus on the things I "can do" and enjoying them to the fullest will help me work through this in the best way possible.

I recently worked with some clients who underwent some significant discomfort to achieve their real estate goals. They wanted to move to a better location for their family while moving into a nicer home in a nicer neighborhood. Given their situation, it was a daunting and challenging process.

But they did it. They persevered, withstood some stress and discomfort, and came out the other side in a much better position for their family's future. This includes "coloring up their chips" in real estate.

So many of my friends and clients improve their lives by undergoing some period of discomfort to achieve long-term goals. In my experience, the most significant successes in my life have been achieved after periods of discomfort, and sacrifice, with an eye on the long-term view.

On the other hand, folks who seem to be "treading water" aren't willing to be uncomfortable and take some risks. It's easy to be complacent or settle. Long-term investments require patience and faith.

It took a huge leap of faith to quit drinking. It was uncomfortable. It's still uncomfortable at times. I have an eye on the long-term investment.

One of my favorite sayings is: If you want different results, change your habits.

Whenever I'm in a rut or unsatisfied with my results, I take a long, hard look at my habits. This applies to my personal, spiritual, emotional, and financial well-being.

I'm feeling a little complacent. Time to be uncomfortable.

I'm currently involved in a complicated situation with a dysfunctional and volatile person. It's been very challenging to figure out the best path forward.

While thinking about how to make the best out of this situation, I listened to a podcast by Dr. Ivan Misner, CEO of BNI. I listen to podcasts weekly for my professional development, although the lessons often serve me in my personal life.

Dr. Misner's podcast, "Plays Well With Others" was brilliant advice that I would like to share. Here are the highlights:

*Don't let other people control your success.

*Play the "long game" and don't worry about short-term successes.

*We don't need to be friends or like everyone, but it's important to listen to and respect folks' perspectives.

*Lessons we tried to learn in elementary school still come into play today. Playing well with others is the key to success.

*Achieving resolution with a difficult person requires tolerance. Keep your eye on the ball.

Here are five things Dr. Misner recommends people do when working with a difficult person:

*Listen without arguing.

*Ask questions to gain insight into how to achieve your goal.

*Show interest in the person's point of view, even if you disagree with it.

*Try to have them focus on the solution, not the problem. Problems are easy to spend time on, but realistic solutions are harder. Coach them into calmness.

*Clear, open, honest, communication is vital to achieve a common goal.

I had been utilizing some of these techniques during my current situation with this difficult person, but certainly not all of them. I tried to stick to my principles of what I thought was right. It wasn't working. We were headed down the wrong path.

Offering a little humble pie to the other person and genuinely listening and trying to gain understanding is crucial. I will shift gears, apologize for not listening intently, and work on developing a solution that will benefit us all. The long-term solution is the goal, not proving I'm right.

It's interesting to me that the same tools used in my professional life can be so helpful in personal relationships as well. It's also interesting to me that so many problems we face on a daily basis are best solved by listening and gaining understanding.

I've been thinking a lot lately about leadership.

I am particularly grateful for the great leaders I have learned from and who still inspire me today. I am blessed with outstanding mentorship and friends that I learn from daily.

I’ve learned humility.

I’ve learned great lessons about being a better father.

I've learned some great financial lessons, many of which the hard way.

I've learned how to listen more.

I've been thinking about the key characteristics I resonate with in the leaders I admire. The following traits are what I gravitate toward:

*Humble with quiet confidence

*Prioritizes family

*Prioritizes health

*Feels a lot of satisfaction from developing other people

*Not afraid to take calculated risks

*Not afraid to fail, and readily admits to making mistakes

*Has steadfast vision and consistently demonstrates strong values

*Has an innate ability to shift and adapt to the changing environment

*Demonstrates openness and careful consideration of new ideas, especially ones that don't immediately resonate

*Puts the needs of their organization or community ahead of their own needs

*Enthusiastic about innovation, creativity, and trying something new

*Strong work ethic while achieving great harmony in quality of life

*Not afraid to be vulnerable, admit weakness, and are willing to work on themselves

*Has a sense of humor and doesn’t take themselves too seriously

One of the key things I've learned over time is that true leaders don't need to lead an organization to make a powerful impact. We have opportunities daily to lead by example.

How do we treat the barista at the coffee shop? How do we show up for people in need? Do we consistently have "straight talk" with folks?

The leaders I admire most are the ones who quietly and confidently make a daily impact in their day-to-day lives, subtly improving the lives of all the people around them.

I've had some unexpected transitions lately that have upset my rhythm. I had a part in adopting one of them, while the other came out of nowhere. I've felt bewildered, depressed, and definitely out of synch.

Fortunately, my situation is temporary. Even though they're temporary, they are still tough to work with. I try to get my mindset right, breathe into acceptance, lean into faith, and find optimism. But it doesn't always work.

This period has given me time to gain some understanding and empathy with folks who have more permanent, difficult transitions. One of the most fulfilling parts of my job is helping folks with real estate challenges around transitions. My recent experiences allow me to understand better the challenges these folks face.

I am an optimistic person by nature. But some days, I need help finding that gear. Every time in my life that there have been unexpected transitions, there have been blessings that manifest —every time.

The most difficult challenge is giving myself grace for sub-par "mindset" days. Not every day has to be a "win." I'm at peace when I realize the goal is overall progress, not perfection.

The revelation that resonates with me the most is that when I get out of myself and help others, I get back in rhythm. When I do this, more blessings present themselves. When I do this, the winning days start to gain momentum.

It's incredible how well this simple rule works.

I love sports. My daughter doesn't get it. She doesn't understand my love of playing and watching sports.

Sports are so much more than the actual game. I don't remember many games I played in my youth, but I vividly remember the practices. I fondly remember joking around with the guys before and after practice. I remember the music before and after practices and getting pumped up before games and matches. I remember going to battle with my "brothers," whom I had grown up playing these wonderful sports since I was in elementary school.

I remember:

*The smell of freshly cut grass before football practice

*The unpleasant smell and total physical exertion of wrestling practices

*The crisp air of cold baseball practices in northern New Mexico during the Spring

*And the long bus rides. What a blast!

There are so many life lessons to be learned by participating in sports. We learned how to win "well" and lose "well." We learned that dedication, effort, and teamwork are keys to success. We learned what great leaders are made of and what poor leaders aren't. We learned to pick ourselves up after losses, learn from them, and carry on.

This is why Title IX is so important in college sports. Women need the same opportunity as men to develop valuable skills and lessons in their youth that will serve them to be successful in the business world. We need our daughters, granddaughters, and nieces to have the opportunity to learn how to compete on the field so that they can compete in the business environment.

I think about the days of playing sports in my youth often. I smile and grin about the idiotic stuff we did and the unknowingly great lessons we learned.

Most of all, I am grateful for my friends helping me learn lessons to strive to be the best I can be in the game of life.

I just read an article about confidence written by Mark McIntosh of Victory Productions. Mark was recently having lunch with legendary CU former CU football coach Bill McCartney when the topic of confidence came up. Here is an excerpt:

What sparked the discussion was revealing to the Hall of Fame mentor that a beloved family member was going through, or should I say, “growing through” personal issues. Coach Mac said a quick prayer of support to the person of concern would gain confidence to believe in themselves as much as others believed in them.

Then coach Mac said:

“Confidence is the quality that allows our talents to surface!”

I couldn't agree more. So often, I encounter family, friends, business associates, and clients or the barista at my favorite coffee shop, that underestimate their capabilities. They underestimate their talent. They underestimate their ability to stretch their boundaries. They underestimate the power of their drive and sheer will.

I believe confidence grows as I experience successes and failures, and take the time to reflect and learn from them both. Experience has taught me that when you push boundaries and are in the "arena", both situations are possible. However, the failures are usually "not so bad" and usually lead to more enlightening experiences.

Over time, we have the opportunity to "give back" to our communities and help people find their confidence. This is where it gets good. Helping people realize that they truly can achieve more than they think they can. Sometimes it's encouragement. Sometimes it's tough "straight talk.” Often it's the consistent subtle communication of believing in someone.

Mark McIntosh ended the article with the following: Confidence. Quite a quality. Priceless. McCartney had a parting shot on this trip down memory lane. “It’s what coaching is all about, encouraging others to allow their talents to surface!” So true. In football and life.

One of the biggest thrills for me is being part of someone's "team" to help them with a breakthrough to do more than they thought they could.

These are the most satisfying success experiences I've ever had.

Happy New Year to you! 2023 is already starting to be interesting.

I went on vacation last month and returned a few days before Christmas. I was excited to see my kids, who returned from college, fired up to get started on my 2023 business plan, and I couldn't wait to get back to the Yoga Pod.

I planned on one last steroid injection for my back the day after I got back to see if this last injection point might cure my nagging lower back issue.

Boom! The injection triggered my sciatic nerve, which has been quite an ordeal. I had no idea how painful a sciatic nerve injury could be. I couldn't sit or stand for more than 10 minutes before being in a lot of pain. It certainly changed all my plans in a hurry.

Indeed, my situation pales compared to those who lost their homes in the Marshall Fire a year ago. Or some of my dear friends and family dealing with severe medical conditions. I can't even imagine how challenging it is every day to work through these situations. I've been thinking about these folks a lot lately, and my heart goes to them.

Fortunately, my situation is temporary, and the sciatic nerve issue will heal. However, such a great lesson in adapting the Marines' credo of "adapt and overcome."

My Christmas plans with my kids changed quite a bit, but we adapted the best we could. I tried to focus on what was important at the time.

There has never been a year in the evolution of my business that has gone to plan. However, I try to keep the high-level goals I strive to achieve, even if the tactical goals change. Priorities are constantly changing. There are always going to be unforeseen challenges that arise.

I do my best to seek the blessings in each challenge. They may not always be apparent, but in my experience, they are always there if I'm open to them. At the beginning of each challenge, I'm usually resistant to this possibility, but the quicker I adopt this perspective, the faster I can work through it.

I also try and have a sense of humor about this. It's incredible how often I get in my way.

As I write this segment, I'm still working through this temporary but frustrating situation. Cheers to meeting our challenges with a blessing mentality and sense of humor in 2023!

It's hard to let go.

I'm finding it especially hard to "let go" when watching my young adult children make similar mistakes I've made in my life. It's hard enough trying to learn from my own mistakes, many of which have been repetitive, financially costly, and tough emotionally. I can accept accountability and acceptance for my own mistakes. Observing my kids' mistakes is quite a different challenge.

Certainly, I was as stubborn, as when I was their age, maybe even more so. I thought I knew it all, wouldn't listen to anyone's advice, and had to learn lessons the hard way. Sometimes the excruciatingly hard way. But that was my path, and I accepted the gifts and consequences of the journey.

It occurs to me that there is a balance between sharing my experiences so that my children hear them OR intently listening to them. Do I share my experiences and let them decide whether or not there is a learning lesson there or refrain from speaking and listening?

I never want to do anything that diminishes the spirit of anyone, least of which my children. I want them to take chances, be bold, and go for it. I want them to question authority. I want them to fearlessly venture into the unknown. I don't want them to fear failure. Life is a lot more fun when pushing the edge.

I am finding it a struggle to differentiate between letting go and speaking up. When do my kids need me to speak up, when do they need me to listen? As I'm learning, it's more of the latter.

Now, I appreciate the difficulty the folks who care about me had when I moved through my difficult times. It's so hard to have no control. I don't like feeling helpless. It sometimes feels nauseating.

However, there is a peace and serenity I've found in the art of letting go. Letting go doesn't mean I don't care, that I won't be there if needed, and that I'm not listening. In fact, by carefully listening to my children, I feel that I am getting to know them more than ever.

I will enjoy witnessing the rivers of my children's lives flow down their paths, as they will, and prepare myself spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially to be there when they tell me I'm needed.

“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.”

- John O'Donohue

II recently spent two weeks on a road trip through Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho. I enjoyed a five-day yoga retreat at Feathered Pipe Ranch near Helena and decided to cruise around Idaho for a week afterward since I had never been to Idaho. What an amazing trip!

Lauren Lewis put on such a wonderful yoga retreat with the assistance of Lisa Fierer. Lauren put her heart and soul into making it a great experience and it truly was a tremendously impactful spiritual experience. Lisa brought her typical wisdom and energy, and the two of them created a special week for us all.

Here are my top five highlights:

Attraction vs promotion: The amazing people that I met at the yoga retreat are a testament that "like attracts like." The people I met were incredibly talented, genuine, and kind. These are the types of people that gravitate toward Lauren and Lisa.

Gratitude: I felt enormous gratitude for having the freedom and opportunity to be able to drive through these beautiful states freely and spontaneously. Thank you to the men and women who have fought for our country and continue to do so to protect our freedoms.

Community: I leaned into my recovery community in the different places I visited in Idaho. I went to meetings in Sandpoint, Coeur d'Alene, and Ketchum. I met the most amazing people -- inspiring, genuine, and full of great humor.

Idaho's beauty: I had never been to Idaho before and I was blown away by its beauty, ruggedness, and contrasts in terrain. I will be back!

Get away: It was so nice to get away, clear my head, and have some quality time to read and reflect. I just love road trips.

I read three books on my road trip and here are my key takeaways:

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey: Create your opportunities and don't impose self-imposed limitations.

Die with Zero by Bill Perkins: Focus on experiences and don't wait too long to experience them.

Vagabonding by Rolf Potts: Successful extended adventure travel is all about mindset.

Wow, what a great time! Hmmm, where shall I wander to next...?tem description

One of my favorite quotes is by Thomas Jefferson:

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."

I feel very grateful and fortunate for what I have. I feel a sense of inner peace at this stage of my life that I've never felt before. While it's taking a while to settle in with this stage in my life, I don't feel like "I'm done."

My role as a father is never done. I have an enormous amount of experiences that I still want to enjoy. I still love what I do for work, and there is still a lot left in the tank. I am looking forward to continuing to mentor when I can and giving back to my recovery community.

As I look back at how I got to this place, I feel so grateful for the mentors and friends in my circle who have inspired me so much. It's what a friend of mine calls her "tribal council."

Some of the attributes of folks in my "tribal council" are the following:

They have an outstanding balance of family, personal health, business, and community.

They surround themselves with talented people from all walks of life to give them perspective.

They focus on experiences rather than things.

They create their own luck by working hard, creating opportunities, and seizing them whenever possible.

These folks in my inner circle have worked extremely hard to create opportunities, educate themselves in their field, and take calculated risks. Not all the opportunities worked out. Many of them did.

It was not random luck that created sustained success for these folks. They learned from other people's mistakes and some of their own. They are active readers. They have the "long view" and aren't concerned about short-term successes. They aren't afraid to go against the grain or try something new.

The key ingredient, however, is the "rolling up the sleeves" mentality and willingness to put the work in, despite obstacles, setbacks, and market conditions. Opportunities were created and acted upon.

And interestingly enough, this persistent and long-term work ethic created a lot of luck along the way.Item description

One of the most common phrases yoga instructors use in a yoga practice is to "find your edge." Your edge is the point in a yoga pose when you are mentally and physically challenged, but also able to find balance and ease. Sounds easy, but often is not.

My yoga practice is a constant struggle of finding the edge, stretching the boundaries some, and then letting go and relaxing into the moment. How do we know what our physical limitations are if we don't push our limits? How far or how often can we push our physical limits until we reach the danger zone?

I'm finding that I injure myself occasionally in yoga when I don't pay attention to my physical edge. A friend of mine says that our edge changes with age. So true, yet it's so difficult to roll with the changes. I'm often caught between not wanting to "give in" and surrendering to the inevitable reality of getting older.

I find myself constantly exploring my edge as my business evolves. What are the limits that I can achieve in my business and still find balance in my personal life, health, and spiritual life? If I take a particular business risk, what are the possible consequences, and is it worth it? Is the juice worth the squeeze? I find that developing a business is much more enjoyable and successful when pushing that edge.

I like to find a little adventure when I travel. It's exhilarating going to a country where I don't know the language, doing something physically demanding, and trying something new. I've had many close calls earlier in my life, where I pushed the edge a little too far. I feel I'm getting better at finding that edge and paying attention to where the danger zone is.

In my alcohol recovery, I've been spending more time finding my emotional and spiritual edge. It's harder than I ever thought it would be. The results, however, have been incredible in my relationships and quality of life. I'm still learning where these edges are, but it's been worth the discovery process.

My life is much more fulfilling when I can find my edge, spend some time there, and pay attention to how to find it more often. I'm happiest when I can find that zone physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I try and do this daily. How do we grow otherwise?

May you find your edge, and spend some quality time there as well.

I experienced a proud "parenting" moment the other day. I try to enjoy these since I still make my share of parenting missteps. I try to enjoy "wins" when I get them.

The other day my daughter called me out and said, "No excuses, Dad." I couldn't have been more proud.

When I stopped drinking, besides dedicating myself to my alcohol recovery program, I committed to start doing yoga. I was awkward, inflexible, uncoordinated, and very uncomfortable. Interestingly enough, this had great parallels with my alcohol recovery process.

But I was focused and determined to go to yoga almost every day, no matter what the weather, how tired I was, how busy my day was, etc. No excuses. Every morning on the way to yoga I would listen to Alice and Chains' song "No Excuses." Almost every morning for 1.5 years.

I've used the "no excuses" mantra throughout my life and tried to instill this mindset in my children. Accountability and self-reflection are critical components of a growth mindset.

When the recession hit in 2008, and my business was crushed, I had someone in my inner circle tell me: "You can't help what happened Tony, you're just a victim of the circumstances." I listened, but that statement grated on me so much. It was my fault for building my business model to be so susceptible to an economic downturn. I committed to rebuilding my business to withstand future downturns, and I'm proud to say that my business is in far better shape to withstand recent downturns and will be in the future. No excuses.

A recent injury has prohibited me from practicing yoga. It's very frustrating, and I miss yoga so much. After feeling sorry for myself for weeks, I changed my mindset to focus on other physical activities, commit to a daily physical therapy program, and make sure that my "core" will be stronger than ever when I return to yoga. No excuses.

Lack of vulnerability has been a detriment to my relationships for most of my life. With the help of my alcohol recovery program and therapy, I have been determined to make vulnerability a strength. No excuses.

I feel the "no excuses" mindset is critical to developing resilience and accountability. I feel it has been an important mindset to help my growth personally, and spiritually, in my relationships, and my business.

Now if I can only adopt this mantra in my pathetic golf game...

I recently read the book "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks. The basic premise is how to conquer our hidden fears and take life to the next level. It was a great, quick read. Reading the book reminded me of how my mind has imposed limitations on me in the past.

Here are some examples:

*Not asking a woman for her phone number that I'm interested in out of fear of rejection.

*Not going for an interesting business opportunity for fear of not being able to achieve it.

*Not traveling abroad to places where I don't know the language.

*Not having confidence about the ability to achieve long-term financial goals.

*Not going for a "great opportunity" and settling for a "good" one.

What I've discovered over time is that when I actually think about the "worst-case scenario" if I pursue a certain situation, it is often really not that bad. One of my favorite quotes is from Mark Twain:

"I have suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened."

It is a biological fact that about 80% of our natural thoughts each day are negative. If I carefully think about what the actual worst-case of a situation is and think about what the true odds are of it actually happening, I've found that I usually can move through the negativity and "go for it."

"Going for it" over time helps move me from settling for "good" instead of "great." I don't always achieve "great," but more times than not over the long haul, the pursuit of "great" has been worth it. There have been failures, but there have been many more successes. I have found that this manifests itself in relationships, health, and business.

Experience has taught me the power of eliminating self-imposed limitations.

Let's "go for it!"

I recently suffered an injury trying to "uplevel" at a yoga session. I have this "love/hate" thing going on with my yoga practice. Well actually, not really a hate component, but more of a "frustration" element.

As I continue to evolve my yoga practice, I find myself continually pushing the edge of what my body can do. Most of the time it feels great, and I enjoy the mind, body, and spirit connection that this wonderful practice teaches me. However, I do often tweak something in my body that takes some time to heal.

When I think about what recovering from these types of injuries teaches me, I realize the process is helping me find my edge with the mind and spirit elements too.

I find it extremely difficult to modify my routine in the absence of my almost daily yoga practice. It magnifies how important my yoga practice and community are to me. I try to lean into my other communities and activities, but I find myself struggling to deal with the new, but temporary routine.

These are some of the things I'm learning as I work through this injury recovery process:

There are some hidden gems in being forced to change my routine.

*Listen to my body.

*No excuses to abandon my health goals - find other ways to focus on health.

*Good things happen when I focus more attention on engaging and nurturing my other communities.

*This is temporary.

I do find that this recovery process is pushing my limits of mind, body, and spirit connection. It also gives me more empathy for folks struggling with longer-lasting or more permanent recovery cycles.

As frustrating as this process can be, the most profound lesson in all this is the wonder and joy of continual learning.

Onward!

Just when we are feeling that we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with the COVID-19 pandemic, we are upended with the Marshall Fire tragedy and then the Ukraine nightmare.

It's certainly a stressful time locally, regionally, and worldwide.

And yet, amid all this chaos and upheaval, I've been seeing amazing examples of kindness and compassion.

I've seen dear friends whose homes got burned down, significantly damaged, and evacuated caring more for the people around them than themselves.

I've seen someone pay a huge legal fee for someone not related to her, out of the kindness of her heart.

I've seen a seller accept an offer for less money to help out a firefighter.

I've seen folks willing to give up their homes, basements, etc. to help folks in our community find temporary housing.

I've seen our community step up big time to help friends and strangers alike recover from the Marshall Fire.

I've seen the people of the world rally around the people in Ukraine in a way never seen before in our lifetime.

It reminds me that you don't have to be a leader to show leadership. The best leadership style is leadership by example, and people all around us are doing this every day.

It can be bold, highly leveraged efforts. Oftentimes, it can be relatively simple things unnoticed by the general public.

They all make a positive difference.

In the spirit of being authentic and communicating openly, I have a confession to make...

I recently made a mistake with a personal relationship that I've struggled to overcome. It's especially disappointing to me since I have worked so hard on improving my vulnerability, my open and honest communication, and my willingness to work through tough personal issues.

No matter how much work I do on myself, my conditioned younger self can show up when I least expect it.

It's a reminder to me that breaking old habits is so hard to do. When in the trenches of everyday life, it's so easy to revert to old coping mechanisms. While the ultimate decisions or intentions might be on target, the way I sometimes unconsciously handle these issues is just not reflective of the person I want to be.

I beat myself up about it. I feel like I "should know better." Why are these patterns so hard to break? Will I ever be free and get it "right?"

Fortunately, a fundamental value of my inner circle is one of forgiveness. It's a powerful gift when truly manifested in my relationships.

When I make mistakes, when I am accountable for them, apologize, and try my best to learn from them, I not only continue on the path of self-improvement but I gain more understanding about and empathy for other people's struggles.

I joke to people that I'm a "slow learner." But I do practice offering myself grace, recognizing the operative word here is "learner."

And isn't that what we're all here to do? To learn and to grow?

Let's continue on this path together.

The Marshall Fire event is a tragedy on so many levels. Sadly, our community lost people and pets; a staggering amount of homes were destroyed; many homes or neighborhoods were affected by fire damage; and thousands experienced the stress of evacuating.

When the fire started, I felt paralyzed by not knowing what to do. I reached out to those I knew who were affected, but I wasn't sure what I could do to help. Even now, several weeks later, it's a struggle to figure out the best way to show up.

I decided to focus the majority of my efforts on leveraging my connections and experience to help out in ways that would have the most impact. I also donated to GoFundMe efforts, helped with temporary housing efforts, and offered emotional support.

I'm learning the most important thing I can do now and moving forward is to listen...carefully and intently.

Every person or family has different needs and will work through this situation uniquely. People have varying circumstances based on their own networks and personal situations, which will be constantly changing as they navigate their paths forward and explore all their options.

This is going to be a sustained, long-term recovery.

And it's been inspiring to see our wonderful communities rallying around our dear friends in need, just as they have in the past during the 2013 flood and other local fires and tragedies. Even so, some people are overwhelmed with the amount of support available to them and are having a tough time prioritizing their needs.

My plan moving forward is to continue to listen, to adjust my fire recovery assistance efforts as things evolve, and to try and do something impactful every day.

This is a great time to step up and deliver. And I believe the power of offering a listening ear and to be a wholehearted witness are truly the key ingredients to getting through this time...together.

I went for an early morning walk the other day and walked through a neighborhood with the most amazing Christmas lights. The lights dazzled in the pitch dark with a crescent moon lighting up the clouds in the background.

I thought to myself, "Wow, that took a lot of work." It also occurred to me that the owners took some time out of their day to set up the display to bring joy to those around them.

We continue to live in a very chaotic time. The recent surge of the Omicron variant is bringing up a lot of traumatic responses from folks, and it's becoming clear that we have a long way to go to move past living in a pandemic.

It can be challenging to think about what difference we can make to help the situation. It occurs to me that simple, consistent, and positive gestures throughout the day can make a huge difference to people in our community.

Several months ago I added a sticky note to my bathroom mirror that says, "Be the light."

It's a reminder to me every morning to try my best to do the following throughout the day:

*tell people that you care about how you feel;

*be kind and positive to the people you encounter throughout the day even if they are not;

*and pause when confronted with someone experiencing anger or stress, and consider that they may be going through some trauma.

I'm certainly not a saint, and I have my good days and bad.

However, if I can look at that sticky note at the end of the day, and realize that most days "I win the day" with my goal, then I can go to bed feeling like I made a positive difference.

It does bring me peace and serenity.

Be the light.

“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
– African Proverb

As we approach Thanksgiving, I've been thinking about how grateful I am. What is coming up for me, in particular, is the power of my communities, and how vital they are to me on a daily basis.

My younger self rarely asked for help, and I was fiercely independent. It may have served me in some ways, but stunted my development of fulfilling, powerful, and nurturing relationships.

I've done a lot of work on myself over the past three years in association with my alcohol recovery journey. When I take a step back and reflect on the most profound and vital component of this transformation, it ties back to the development of my communities.

I am fortunate to have:

*A beautiful community of family and friends who have always been there for me, share the wisdom of their experiences and have forgiveness in their hearts.

*A vibrant yoga community that nourishes my soul on a daily basis. I feel so fortunate to have been swept up in this amazing practice and evolve with this truly amazing group of people.

*An inspiring alcohol recovery community that is comprised of warriors "working on their stuff" on a daily basis. Such a testament to courage, redemption, and the power of the human spirit.

*A powerful business networking group that reminds me that "culture" is so much more powerful than "strategy". What an amazing culture we have developed together.

As we take time to give our thanks during the Thanksgiving Holiday, my wish for you is that you are able to take the time to enjoy your communities.

I hope I see you soon as you are a valuable part of one or more of my communities.

The foundation of our business is how we show up for our clients, our colleagues, and our partners.

At Stellar, that foundation is steeped in our promise to source ourselves from an authentic space of integrity, discernment, and wholeheartedness to truly help our clients #findtruedirection.

What do we mean by true direction, you might ask?

It's having frank discussions about:

the market;

a transaction;

their approach;

our strategy;

our communication; and

their goals.

Experience has personally given me the breadth and depth to hold these conversations. I am not afraid to lose a client by having tough conversations if I think it's the right thing to do. I'm also not in a position in which "I have to close a deal now," so I have a longer-term view.

I want to be known as highly principled, an effective communicator, a great listener, creative, responsive, and someone who has empathy and understands my client's situation.

I want to be known as a Realtor who gives people educated and well-informed advice, is able to deliver straight talk, and values relationships and people over profit.

My best clients are ones who seek a more consultative, educated, and professional Realtor rather than just a transactional experience.

Buying and selling real estate is a big deal for my clients. They need a Realtor who represents their interests in the best way possible and puts their interests ahead of my own.

Last month my kids and I went on a backpacking trip to Glacier National Park. The trip was Elena's high school graduation gift. I told her that I would take her anywhere in the continental US for a fun trip, and she chose this adventure.

Glacier is a special place for me. I am in awe of its majestic beauty and enamored with the variety of animals that live in this rugged environment. I have always been particularly fascinated with Grizzlies, and I love to see them in their natural habitat, especially in the backcountry.

These are some of the highlights of our trip.

Our top three backcountry routes were completely booked, so we had to improvise. I was so proud of how quickly Nick and Elena adapted to the news and came up with a great new route on the fly. Being flexible and adaptable is so important on major trips and I was thrilled that they "rolled with the punches."

We ended up backpacking through some "burned areas" that were less popular. The unexpected beauty of these areas struck each of us. It was a reminder that sometimes beauty can be found in unexpected places.

The crown jewel of the trip was staying at Lake Ellen Wilson. I've stayed at some amazing backcountry campsites in Glacier, but this one was absolutely stunning. There were eight waterfalls surrounding us as we kicked back on the beach of this pristine mountain lake. This was another reminder that some epic experiences can be found in the most unlikely ways.

We had a mother grizzly and her cub visit us at the Lake Ellen Wilson campground. They came within 20 yards of us. It was very exhilarating and profoundly humbling, and it took my breath away. I was very proud of how Nick and Elena reacted as we respectfully observed these beautiful animals peacefully grazing in their habitat. This was truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience that we will never forget.

I was very proud of how strong, resilient, and brave Nick and Elena were to embrace backpacking. It takes a lot of work to prepare for these types of trips; there are some difficult hikes; there is a lot of discomfort; and there are a lot of unknowns going into them. Every now and then I would look at Nick and Elena during the trip and the joy and wonder in their expressions were priceless. I feel a great sense of pride that they will enjoy the amazing experience of backpacking throughout their lives.

That's another epic experience in the books. I'm looking forward to more to come!

As a graduation gift, I told my daughter that I would take her on a trip anywhere in the continental US. She chose Glacier National Park. She wants to do a backpacking trip, with her brother and me, knowing that Glacier is a very special place for me.

This will be my fourth backpacking trip to this unique place. My son's middle name is Logan, named after the amazing Logan's Pass that cuts through the middle of Glacier. The Glacier backcountry is majestic, mystical, rugged, and full of amazing wildlife and scenery. It's a place in which I truly feel alive.

Our trip is fast approaching. I have to admit I've procrastinated some in our preparation. I'm caught between being the overprotective parent to make sure my kids are properly prepared and counting on them to follow the preparation instructions I've laid out for them. In my experience, the more preparation I do in advance, the more comfortable the experience. Ahhh, the analogies abound!

My default process on these kinds of decisions is that I need to step in when there are dangerous consequences, but let them figure out the minor details. Although I know that things always work out, I'm still anxious. However, part of the whole experience is adapting to the twists and turns of every adventure.

Our Glacier adventure awaits! I'll share more upon our return...

Recently, I experienced a tough parenting moment while I was having dinner with my almost fully grown children. We have family dinners together with no devices, and it's a time in which we can catch up and discuss a variety of issues. Sometimes the discussions are challenging...this was one of those times.

My daughter started talking about a very difficult time in our lives, and she shared her feelings of some trauma she experienced due to my lack of emotional availability when she was younger. She provided some very direct and painful thoughts about my parenting and how it affected her at that time. And as a result, I felt deeply hurt, and I found myself getting angry and defensive...I felt unappreciated.

It changed the mood of the evening, and I felt sick to my stomach afterward, feeling at a loss for what to say or do. So, I went to bed early.

The next morning I woke up and went to a rigorous yoga class. The yoga teacher said something that triggered an epiphany.

Wasn't my daughter behaving exactly the way we have been working on for the past several years in family therapy? Don't I want my daughter to speak her truth, to stand up for herself, and to speak openly and honestly with me? Isn't this the behavior that I want my son to engage in as well? Isn't this the behavior that I want to model as best I can in my life?

I drove home from yoga with a fresh mindset. Although still hurting from the previous day's discussion, I couldn't have been more proud of my girl. At dinner that night, the three of us continued the discussion with a different perspective. We discussed that the previous night's conversation is exactly the type of discussion our family should have. It's exactly the way we want to show up in the world. It was a profound moment for the three of us.

It's amazing to me how much I learn from my children. I still make mistakes, and it's a work in progress to change old patterns, but I continue to work on listening, pausing, truly hearing people, and communicating openly and honestly.

I continue to learn and grow each and every day, and I am grateful for the opportunities my people give me to become an even better version of myself.

Thank you for being part of my community and for giving me the space to be all of who I am...fully human.

Have a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend!

I've been reflecting lately about the fact that I'm approaching the "empty nest phase" in my life.

It's been quite a journey, with lots of amazing moments, along with some of the most challenging times in my life. I left a rewarding career with IBM to launch my real estate business at the same time as getting married and having our first child. I can vividly remember my children's first steps as well as changing the last diaper! Much of this while getting my newly launched RE career off the ground. Many people questioned me for making such a dramatic career switch, especially given the less-than-ideal timing. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I'm so proud of my children for what resilient, strong, compassionate, and vibrant people they have come to become. I am so proud of my co-parenting relationship with my ex-wife and her husband. We have been an amazing team throughout this journey and we have all grown tremendously. I can honestly say that I am a lot closer version of my true self today than I was 20 years ago.

My amazing communities, friends, business partners, and clients have been such wonderful support and inspiration to me. It truly takes a village to raise children. I am proud, thankful, and anxious about this next phase of my life all at the same time.

At times I have dreamed of this moment. Especially in times of extreme stress of raising kids as a single dad and juggling that elusive "work-life balance." I made plenty of mistakes. I made plenty of breakthroughs.

I fully realize that my "parenting job" isn't over, and there will be plenty of challenges and success in the future. Right now I'm trying to be present and enjoy the last few months before Nick and Elena both head to college and I settle in and discover what this next chapter in our lives will bring.

I feel a combination of excitement, sadness, anxiety, and fulfillment. I feel an inner calm of peace and serenity. And I feel proud of doing the best job I could, that we've all grown, and gradually we've all become better versions of ourselves.

I feel truly blessed. The best is yet to come.

Our Stellar team is feeling the anxiety and frustration of trying to buy in this ultra-competitive, low-inventory marketplace.

We are having some successes, but it's certainly a challenge for a number of folks.

Sellers have been fearful of prospective buyers walking through their homes and spreading COVID-19. The rising percentage of people getting vaccinated should encourage more sellers that have been hesitant to put their homes on the market now that conditions are becoming safer.

I believe, and many other experts concur, that we will see a gradual loosening up of inventory and that we should see a continued march toward normal market conditions throughout the year.

Plus, as pandemic conditions improve and workplaces open back up, we likely will see less of an influx of people relocating to the area.

A healthy balance of patience and persistence is the key right now. We are working diligently with our buyers to devise strategies to help them be as competitive as possible. Now, more than ever is a crucial time to have a savvy, experienced, and hard-working team like Stellar Properties in your corner.

Let us know how we can support you and assist you in making informed decisions about your real estate needs in these challenging times.

In my commitment to being of service, I continue to extend my heart to those who are struggling during these difficult times. Across my community, there are so many individuals and families working through so many complex issues right now.

One of the things I'm working on myself as I reflect on my conversations with those around me is the simple act of listening and then breathing into whatever is shared, offering my presence and my empathy in return.

Communication is key for staying connected in these times, and I believe the hallmark of effective communication is simply lending a compassionate ear to help others feel heard and witnessed in their struggles.

The light IS at the end of the tunnel...I can see it burning brightly ahead and look forward to walking in the direction of once again gathering, traveling, shaking hands, hugging, and celebrating our togetherness, humanity, and gratitude for life this summer/fall.

The only way out is through, and we're almost there!

Over the last two and half years, I have consciously worked to strengthen my commitment to impeccable self-care by nourishing my body, mind and spirit with all that our beautiful Colorado outdoors and our beloved Boulder have to offer.

This has involved implementing a daily yoga and meditation routine, regular exercise, healthier eating habits, and an alcohol-free lifestyle.

All of these choices I made were to become more present with my experiences, my people (especially my kids), and myself.

As a result, I have further honed my relational intelligence, lost 20 lbs., and adopted a rock-solid abundance mindset. I feel better, sleep better and simply find more joy in every aspect of my life.

It's been a true personal transformation, one that has awarded me something quite unexpected....

...being called to service with others who desire transformation in their lives.

When my community witnessed positive outcomes and deepened engagement with my wellness and wholeness, they recognized a craving in themselves to uplevel their lives, too.

And I couldn't help but respond with one of the best investment decisions I’ve ever made...my time.

Being with others in conversation about personal growth, clean living, and making changes has been one of the most rewarding, affirming and enjoyable experiences of my life.

I started my real estate company because I love helping people find, sell, and invest in homes.

Little did I know 20 years ago that the world I’ve cultivated at Stellar Properties and in Boulder would include showing up as not only a broker and a friend to my clients and my community but as an ear, an advocate, and a healing partner.

Now, THAT is what I call finding TRUE direction.